09 September, 2010
On heartbreak and friendship.
Recently, a friend of my had her heart broken by both a boy AND her best friend. So immediately I stepped up, I know how it feels plus my desire to help out friends in need led to me helping her get over it. So I figured I'd post some tips for others who may need some fresh material for lending a helping hand (beyond the normal ice cream, and prank calling.)
Step One: The Pep-talk and promise. First of all tell her that it's not her fault they're jerks. Continually tell her that she can do this. Then Promise (but only if you're going to keep it) that you'll be there to help her the whole way.
Step Two: NOTES!! I did this for the friend I mentioned earlier, and shel oved it! I took note cards and wrote cute things and inspirational things on each one. I gave them to her and I've seen her look back at them a few times. Another idea isto hide them in her books or around her house, locker, etc. Be creative.
Step Tree: Get her out. My friend and I are now going place and doing things outside of school. Before, we didn't, but now we are. A few ideas are football games, fairs/carnivals, picnics, and the mall (DUH!). "Getting out" doesn't nessicarily have to be in public. Try movie nights at home, cupcake making parties, or craft days. Just get her mind off everything and out of her own house, if you can.
Step Four: Keep your promise. Be there for her. Help her. Go over to her house and help her remove the opposing person's items or items that remind her of them. Take things back to them if it's theirs or if it's gifts or just memories, but them all in a box. From there put the box in the attic or a strage building. Out of sight, out of mind.
Step Five: It's ok to remember. Make sure she knows this. If someone truely meant something to you, you will never forget them. She needs to have those memories, the good and the bad. Don't try to make her forget, it'll only hurt her more.
Those are just some ideas. One last thing I do is share my own mantra. "Trying to ruin his/her life won't hurt them nearly as bad as you getting on with yours will. That is what will keep them up at night, believing they've been forgotten."
Any other tips?