02 December, 2010

Lolita: A Fear


Recently I've noticed I've not worn lolita often. I did wear it out Saturday, but it wasn't anything impressive. Just an outfit I've worn a hundred times. I don't make skirts anymore and I only dream of wearing the clothes I love. Why? Because I'm afraid. I'm not at all afraid of what anyone in the community says, except other lolis. I only know one, and she doesn't like me, but her opinion matters. Her friend told me she didn't like me lolita, and it hurt, a bit. This, of course, won't stop me from wearing it, but my fear of failure just might.
I'm severely afraid, phobic almost, that someone will tell me that I'm doing it wrong or that it doesn't looks good, or worst of all, laugh at my pitiful attempts. This fear of being told I'm not wearing good lolita has scared me away from wearing it when I'd like.
I'm tempted to abandon the label "lolita." Maybe I should be simply me. Not wear "lolita" but just wear the clothes I like, be they hand made, with petticoats, lolita brands, or whatever it may be. But I like the idea of a label. Ugh. Life is so confusing!
Any help? Pweez?